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Dec 22

Written by: etcav
12/22/2009 8:18 PM

 

At the end of each year, I come to the same conclusion:  I need work.  I’m not talking employment (although that would be nice); I’m talking body and mind rebuilding.  I know I’m not the only one out there who feels this way.  Millions of people make the annual commitment to restructure their lives so they can enjoy more fulfilling and satisfying existences.

To be honest, I don’t mind making this commitment.  I like the feeling that I’m about to embark on a physical and spiritual journey that will improve my life and coax me into becoming a better person.  This year, I’ve come up with a short list of self-improvement goals that I think myself and my family can live with. Will my family be supportive of what I hope to accomplish?  I don’t know.  My husband and daughter will need time to adjust to my goals and the reasons why I feel I need to reach those goals.  At first, they’ll fret the changes. They’ll detest the inevitable crankiness that will accompany my pangs for renewal. They’ll fight me, but once they realize that they can support me or leave town, they’ll back me up me up completely. 

Truthfully, few of my goals require any assistance from them. But it would be nice to know that if I find myself in a crunch, they will be there to lend a hand and comfort me -- without yelling at me.  So, with no further ado, let me tell you what I hope to accomplish this year.

 I want to balance my checkbook:

This isn’t exactly accurate.  I don’t care if I balance it.  I just want to have a ballpark figure of what’s really in my checkbook.  Direct deposit, online banking and the convenient world of ATM machines haves completely screwed me up.  I have guessed about the amount in my checking account for the last three years.  I hold my breath every time I use my ATM card in a store.  I pray fervently that the machine will not reject my bid for money.  My worst fear is that I’ll be in line and a sarcastic cashier will say,

"I’m sorry, but the computer has said we can’t process your transaction.  Apparently, you’re broke.”  I’ve seen this happen. I’ve witnessed the humiliation, and I know I can’t take it. I would be stammering to the whole store, “I do have money – not a lot, but enough for this, I swear!  I just transferred it to my checking account. It must have become caught up in some computer glitch.”

And as we all know, no one ever believes anyone who claims this as their defense.  What I need to do is find a way to reconcile what I think is in my checking account to what the bank thinks is in my checking account.  Frankly, I trust me more these days now that we know how careless the banking industry has been in the last few years. 

 I’m going to lose 10 pounds:

I know everyone says they’re going to lose weight, but not the way I’m going to lose weight.  I’m going to find a super diet which allows me to eat whatever I want; a diet which frowns on exercise; a diet which extols the virtue of ice cream and fatty foods and a diet that still promises me a 10-pound weight reduction within two weeks.  And by the way, not only will this diet drop unnecessary weight, but it will tone and lift my body in all the right places.  Eliminated forever will be cellulite, and those Jell-O wiggles that seem to be developing under my upper arms. It is my objective to be firm, thin and able to wear slim fit jeans by Valentine’s Day.       

I’m Throwing Gossip Out of My Life:

I am adopting a new rule. There will be no snickering, no complaining, and no passing on of information on my part to any other soul.  However, for the record, you should all know I cannot control what other people do.  So, if I happen to be in earshot of any kind of gossip, I will try to stop it immediately as soon as I ascertain if this gossip is true or false.  Hey, I can’t scold people for gossiping if I I’m unsure if what they’re saying is gossip or not!  Once, I find out all the details, I’ll nip all rumors right in the bud. See, I can become a better person.

I’m going to learn many lessons from these objectives.  I purposely picked goals that I can accomplish in due time. I thought about including a revenge goal on people who did me wrong this year. I do not have a formal list, but you know who you are. I won’t waste my time on vengeance. Karma will get you in its own good time. Instead, I’m going to learn commitment, determination and the inevitable truth that next year I’ll probably be shooting for the same goals again.  Sorry to say, but restructuring the mind and body takes more than a one-year plan. It takes a daily practice schedule.

 

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